


Adam: Babysitter

by orphan_account



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Babysitting, Children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-19
Updated: 2011-08-19
Packaged: 2017-10-22 19:35:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/241761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for glam_kink prompt: Adam babysits little!Riff (like maybe 4-6 years old) for a day so Lee and Scarlett can go do parenty-relaxing things. Shenanigans ensue.</p><p>Bonus points if Adam is failing at basic parenting skills like . . . handing Riff his phone to play with to keep him quiet while he's waiting in line at the library and only remembering that he has pictures on there little eyes shouldn't see when Riff asks some awful penis-related question for the whole library to hear, or listening to Tommy when Tommy suggests that challenging the kidlet to a milk-chugging contest will make him finish his drink, or agreeing to let Riff paint his nails like Papa because YAY KIDS SHOULD HAVE FREE EXPRESSION . . . and then making the mistake of actually handing him the nail polish bottle instead of doing it himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adam: Babysitter

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Real people in a fictional setting. None of this is story. Please do not link to anyone mentioned in this story.

“Adam we can’t thank you enough for watching Riff for the day.” Scarlett says to the man at the door.

“Scarlett, he’s my godson, and I love spending time with him.” Adam replies.

“He has snacks, a change of clothes, favorite toys, the emergency contacts list, and his favorite blanket for his nap in the bag. He’s nap time is at 2, no later than that or he’s up for the rest of the night.” Scarlett tells Adam.

Adam smiles, “Scarlett, you’ve told me all this AND have written it all down for me. I can handle him…now go and have fun. I’ll see you later.”

Scarlett smiles and kisses Adam on the cheek, “Thank you again. Love you…Bye Riffy!”

Adam waves to Scarlett as she walks to her car waiting to close the door until she’s in her car.

Once Scarlett was gone Adam turned to look at Riff. He didn’t see him in the living room.

“Um…Riff where are you?” Adam calls out.

He doesn’t get a reply.

“Riff, come on buddy this isn’t funny…Riff!” Adam calls and moves to look for the little boy.

Adam looks around the living room and kitchen before making his way to the rest of the house.

“Riff! Buddy, where are you? Come out, come out where ever you are!” Adam yells down the hall.

Adam is in his room looking under the bed when he hears a laugh. He looks up and hears it again coming from his closet. Walking over to the closet Adam opens the door and finds Riff sitting on the floor playing with a brightly colored vibrating dildo.

“Riff! What are you doing? Give me that!” Adam says and takes the sex toy away from the little boy.

Riff looks up with innocent eyes, “What is that?”

“A, a special toy for…not for little boys. Come on, let’s go watch a movie or something.” Adam replies.

“I’m not little! I’m big! I want to play with your toy!” Riff replies.

Adam sighs, “Riff, you’re too young to play with this…toy. Come on to the living room and we can watch a movie.”

Riff gets up and runs out of the closet heading into the living room. Adam places the dildo back in the box and places the box on the top shelf.

Adam goes to the living room to find Riff throwing everything out of his bag.

“Woah, buddy, let’s not make a mess. What are you looking for?” Adam asks.

“My favoritest movie! Mommy said she put it in here!” Riff replies. He turns the bag over making everything that was inside fall onto the floor.

“What movie is it? I’m sure she packed it.” Adam replies.

“Cars! I want to watch it.” Riff says looking through the pile.

“I think your mommy forgot to pack it.” Adam replies.

Riff looks at Adam, “But…but she promised she put it in my bag!”

“What about a different movie?” Adam asks.

“But I want to watch Cars!” Riff yells and tears roll down his face.

Adam sighs, “Riff, why don’t we go to the store and get another copy of Cars?”

Riff sniffs, “O-ok.”

Adam smiles, “Ok, but first we need to put all this stuff back in your bag.”

“I don’t want to!” Riff pouts.

“If we don’t clean up then we can’t go to the store.” Adam counters.

Riff pouts, but starts to shove everything back into the bag.

“See that wasn’t so hard!” Adam says with a big, fake smile on his face.

Riff sighs, “Now can we go to the store?”

“Sure, let’s get your seat in the car and we’re off. Do you need to go potty before we leave?” Adam replies.

“No.” Riff says and runs to the front door.

Adam grabs the car seat from the floor and follows Riff out to the car. Riff is standing next to the car bouncing on his toes from excitement.

“Your car is the coolest! I want one just like it!” Riff says.

Adam smiles, “Not until you’re older buddy.”

It ends up trying to place a car seat into the back of a mustang isn’t as easy as it looks. Adam has to position the car seat a certain way just to get it to go into the backseat, then it takes him another ten minutes to get it buckled into the car, so it doesn’t move around. Finally he has the seat ready for Riff.

“Riff come on buddy.” Adam says moving out of the car to let Riff in.

Riff isn’t standing next to Adam anymore.

“Riff? Buddy? Where are you?” Adam says and moves around the car to look for the little boy.

“Riff!” Adam yells.

“Over here!” Riff yells back.

Adam follows the voice and finds Riff standing next to bushes peeing.

“Riff what are you doing?” Adam asks.

“Going potty.” Riff replies. He finishes quickly and pulls his pants back up.

Adam sighs, “I asked you before we came to the car if you had to go and you said no.”

“I didn’t have to do then!” Riff replies.

“Are you done?” Adam asks.

“Yes.” Riff replies with a wide smile.

Adam just shakes his head, “Come on into the car.”

\------------------------------------  
“Can I get candy?” Riff asks while they wait in line at Target.

“No.” Adam replies.

“Why?” Riff asks.

“Because you’ll spoil you appetite and then you won’t eat lunch.” Adam replies.

“What if I get just a little candy?” Riff asks.

“No.” Adam replies.

“Please? I promise to be good!” Riff says.

“Riff, no…here play with my phone.” Adam says.

Riff smiles and starts to play around on the phone.

The line moves slowly and Adam’s starting to hate having to wait. He thinks of moving to another line, but then thinks better of it because he doesn’t want to wait longer if he picks the wrong line again.

“Adam, what’s this?” Riff says looking down at the phone.

Adam looks down to see what Riff is looking at and he turns red. It’s a picture of his boyfriend lying naked on the bed with his hand around his hard cock.

“N-nothing.” Adam says and quickly takes the phone away from the little boy.

“Was that, Nico, playing with his wiener?” Riff asks loudly.

Adam blushes more, “No…hey how about you pick out a candy bar?”

“My mommy says I shouldn’t play with my wiener, but I like too. It feels good.” Riff replies.

Adam shakes his head, “Riff…please stop talking and no pick out a candy bar.”

“Adam do you play with your wiener?” Riff asks.

“Oh my God Riff go pick out some candy!” Adam yells at the little boy.

“But…but you didn’t answer my question.” Riff replies.

Adam is horrified, “I’ll answer it later ok? Now pick out some candy or you don’t get any.”

“Ok.” Riff replies and turns to look at the candy by his side.

\--------------------------  
Back at Adam’s house Adam puts on Cars for Riff and then leaves the little boy for a moment so he can call Tommy.

“Hey how’s it going?” Tommy asks.

“Oh my God he is a little devil! He somehow found the picture of Nico naked with his…never mind, just a VERY private picture of Nico that I have on my phone and started to ask me questions about it. Riff asked if I ever played with my…wiener!” Adam tells Tommy.

Tommy’s reply is to laugh into the phone.

“Tommy this isn’t funny! We were in the middle of the store!” Adam cries.

It only makes Tommy laugh harder.

“You are of no help!” Adam says.

“I’m…sorry, but…that’s just…funny!” Tommy replies trying to catch his breath.

“It’s not funny! It was horrifying!” Adam says.

“Adam…he’s 4 and has no filter.” Tommy says back.

Adam sighs, “I was so embarrassed. All those people looking at us while Riff asked if I played with myself.”

“You’ll live.” Tommy replies.

“I don’t know if I can take another hour with the kid. Can you come over for a little bit?” Adam asks.

“Sure, but you’re buying me lunch.” Tommy answers.

“Deal.” Adam agrees.

“Be there in half an hour.” Tommy says and hangs up.

Adam goes back out to the living room to find Riff sitting on the couch with his blanket wrapped around his lap and his thumb in his mouth.

“Hey buddy, Tommy is coming over.” Adam announces.

Riff looks up at Adam, “Really? I love Tommy!”

Adam smiles, “Yes, really. He’ll be over soon.”

Riff smiles, “He’s the bestest.”

Adam fakes pout, “I thought I was the bestest.”

Riff gives a little laugh, “You’re the bestest too, Adam.”

Adam smiles, “You’re the best too.”

“Watch Cars with me?” Riff asks.

“Sure.” Adam replies and moves to sit next to the little boy.

The movie’s half over when Tommy shows up. Adam lets him in and they go to sit to watch the rest of the movie.

Once the movie is over Riff wants to watch it again.

“Riff it’s lunch time. We can watch after.” Adam says.

“But I want to watch now!” Riff whines.

“After lunch, or we wont watch it at all.” Adam counters.

Riff lets out a huge sigh, “Fine…can we go to McDonalds?”

“No, we’re going to somewhere else. All that greasy food won’t be good for you.” Adam replies.

“Where are we going?” Riff asks.

“I choose the pizza places in WeHo. The one by that ‘toy store’.” Tommy says.

“No way are we going there! That’s just what I need. Riff wanting to go play in the ‘toy store’.” Adam replies.

Tommy chuckles, “That would be hilarious when you try to tell Scarlett that you scarred her baby for life.”

“It so wouldn’t be funny!” Adam replies.

“I want McDonalds!” Riff says.

“I already said we’re not going there…we’re going to a…café. There’s one right down the street that’s really good.” Adam replies.

“But I want fries!” Riff says.

“You can get fries at the café…and I know that they let you draw on the table.” Adam replies.

“Really?” Riff asks.

“Yep, so do you want to go or not?” Adam asks back.

“Last one to the car is a rotten egg!” Riff yells and is already racing to the door.

\-----------------------------  
After lunch Adam decides that they’re going to the park, so Riff can burn some energy before nap time.

“Can I take my shoes off?” Riff asks.

“Sure, but make sure you tell me if you have to go to the bathroom. I don’t want you using it without shoes on.” Adam replies.

Riff quickly takes his shoes off and runs to the sand pit to play.

“You’re not doing a bad job.” Tommy comments.

“I’m trying. He’s a handful.” Adam replies.

“Nah, dude, he’s just a little boy.” Tommy replies.

“I can’t even think of how it is 24/7 to have a kid.” Adam says back.

“It’s fun.” Tommy replies.

Adam gives Tommy a look, “Coming from the guy who doesn’t have any kids.”

“Ok, so it’s fun to watch a kid and give him back after an hour or whatever.” Tommy says.

Adam and Tommy talk and try to keep an eye on Riff, but soon Riff’s no where in site.

“Crap, Tommy, Riff’s gone! What if someone took him! I need to find him.” Adam says.

“Ok, calm down. We’ll find him. He’s probably just hiding somewhere. You check the grass area. There are trees there that he could be hiding in, I’ll check the sand area.” Tommy says.

Adam moves quickly around the few huge trees that are in the area looking for Riff.

“Riff, where are you? Riff, are you here?” Adam yells.

“Adam!” Riff yells back.

“Riff what are you doing?” Adam yells back. He’s not sure where Riff is.

“Behind a tree!” Riff replies.

“Which tree?” Adam says and starts to follow the voice.

“This one!” Riff yells and jumps on Adam’s leg.

Adam breathes a sigh of relief, “Riff you scared me! I thought you were gone.”

Riff looks down, “Sorry…I was just playing hide and seek.”

“Well I think we’re done playing hide and seek. Time to go home and take a nap.” Adam says and picks up the little boy.

“But I’m not tired.” Riff whines.

“Your mommy said at 2 is nap time. It’s 1:30 now and by the time we get home it’ll be 2. So we’re going home so you can rest. After we can watch Cars again.” Adam tells Riff.

“I want to watch Cars before my nap.” Riff says.

“No way buddy, after your nap or you wont be able to watch it the rest of the day.” Adam replies.

“No fair!” Riff says.

Tommy runs over to them, “You found him!”

“He was hiding behind a tree.” Adam says.

“I guess it’s time to go then?” Tommy asks.

“Yea, it’s nap time anyway.” Adam replies.

They get in the car with a pouting Riff, but Adam doesn’t relent on the nap and movie. By the time they get back to Adam’s house Riff’s sleeping in his seat.

“Give me the keys and I’ll get the house unlock. You bring Riff in.” Tommy says.

Adam agrees and they go their separate ways. Riff sniffs in his sleep, but stays asleep as Adam carries him into the house. Adam puts Riff down in his bed and covers him with a throw blanket.

“He needs his favorite blanket or he’ll get mad.” Adam comments to Tommy and leaves to grab the blanket.

Once they were sure Riff was settled down they went out to the living room.

Adam sits down with a sigh, “He’s got a lot of energy.”

“Yea, I can see that.” Tommy says.

“Thanks for helping me today.” Adam says back.

“I love kids, so it’s not problem.” Tommy replies.

\----------------------------------  
Tommy leaves an hour before Scarlett and Lee return to pick up Riff.

“Adam thank you so much for watching him.” Scarlett says.

“It’s no problem! He was so much fun.” Adam replies.

“Did you have a fun time?” Lee asks his son.

“I got to watch Cars!” Riff replies.

Lee chuckles and kisses Riff on the cheek, “Sounds like a fun time.”

“Anytime you need someone call me.” Adam says.

“We’ll keep you to that.” Scarlett replies.

“We better go. Say good bye and thank you Riff.” Lee says.

“Thank you! Bye!” Riff says.

“Bye, see you soon.” Adam replies.

Adam watches the family leave and when they’re driving away he gives a big sigh, “I’m so not going to have children.”


End file.
